Sheela and the Ferret
by MrDrP
Summary: When Kim and Ron go out for some T or T action, Drakken and Shego spring a trick that's so much more the drama than smelly feet ... [COMPLETE]
1. Trick

A little something I decided to whip up for Halloween.

Thanks, as always, to campy. Wade's supposed to be sending you some candy credits.

Write a review, get a response.

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I. 

"I am telling you, Shego, this will be my most brilliantest plan yet!" Drakken crowed.

"Excuse me? Did you say 'brilliantest'?" Shego asked as she looked up from her magazine.

"Yes, I did, why?" Drakken asked.

"It's not a word," she answered.

"Yes it is," he said defensively.

"No it's not," she shot back confidently.

"Is too," he insisted with a bit of vim.

"Is not," she replied, not bothering to hide her contempt.

"It is, too," Drakken said defiantly. "You're just short of the, er, um, brilliantocity needed to know it!"

"Either that or a vendetta against the English language," she said with a roll of the eyes.

"Shego," Drakken said in a fatherly tone, "what have we said about hurting with our words?"

"That we have to know them before we use them?" she replied innocently.

Drakken pulled a face. "Lippy sidekick," he muttered.

"Doc, focus, please," she said, exasperated. "I'm kind of busy here, you know."

Drakken cocked an eyebrow as he watched Shego be 'busy' – she was reading the _Villains' Digest Vacation Special_. The mad scientist was sorely tempted to use his new invention on his colleague, but the chance to bend Kim Possible to his will was simply too good to pass up.

II.

"I can't believe we're going to do this!" Ron squealed with delight and childlike wonder. "KP, you are The Best Girlfriend Ever!" he added as he embraced her.

"It's no big, Ron," Kim replied happily. "By serving as chaperones, we get to help the neighborhood kids, you get to T or T, and I get to be with my BF."

"Well, I can see how that would beat being trapped in supercool battle armor," Ron observed.

"Ugh. I so don't want to think about that," Kim said. "I lied to you, I lied to my 'rents, I made a scene at Mon's party. That was such the disaster."

"Hey, at least you weren't captured by Duff Killigan," Ron said.

Kim cringed. She still felt bad about how she had let down everyone she cared about on Halloween two years earlier. That's one of the reasons she was so excited about leading the group of children on their rounds – it was a way of making up for the disruptive havoc she'd helped create.

"Don't worry, Kimbo," he added as he took her hand and offered a reassuring grin. "I did clean up on the candy front in the end."

Kim shook her head and smiled. "So, what treat are you looking forward to getting most this year?" she asked.

"'Sha! Like you have to ask," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "You know I can never have enough of those five-alarm KP kisses!"

"Mmm," Kim said. "Well, maybe we should help you get off to an early start. Just remember, you're more likely to get what you want if you forget the 'smell your feet' line …"

III.

"And so, Shego, with my Psyonic Wave Manipulator, I will be able to program Kim Possible to do whatever I please!"

Shego looked on skeptically as Drakken hoisted the ray gun aloft. "Ya know, Doc, as much as I like the idea, why don't we just chalk this one up as a failure right now and save ourselves the trouble?"

"O ye of little faith," Drakken grumbled.

"But lots of common sense," she muttered in response.

"Just you wait and see, Shego! Before this night is over Kim Possible will be my mind-controlled zombie!" Drakken then threw back his head and let out a hearty, deep-throated, 'Muwahahahahahahaha'. When he was done, he smiled. "You know, that was even better than candy!"

IV.

"KP, that has got to be the hottest costume in the history of Halloween!" Ron enthused.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," Kim said appreciating the compliment and trying not to blush from Ron's words or expression. "But I'm still not 100 percent on the tail," she said as she looked down at the form-fitting cat suit. "Are you sure it looks good on me?"

"Kimila, you were made to wear that outfit," Ron said knowingly.

"Meaning?" she said, her voice carrying an unintended edge. She just couldn't help but feel a bit ridiculous in the outfit, regardless of how much her boyfriend liked it.

"Meaning that villainy should only be committed by beautilicious babes and you are the most beautilicious babe there is."

Kim, her arms crossed, studied her boyfriend, who hoped he'd just given her the right answer. She looked at him stony-faced for a while, then began to smile.

Evilly.

"Thanks for the compliment, Ferret," she said as she sashayed up to him. She leaned in as if to give him a kiss, then pulled back. "You're cute, too. To bad you're my arch-foe. Maybe I'll just have to defeat you."

Then, to Ron's frustration, Kim turned and began to walk away. As she did, she looked over her shoulder, and winked at him.

Ron tried not to let his jaw hit the floor. This really was going to be the best Halloween ever.

V.

Drakken and Shego flew over Middleton looking for Kim. Much to their frustration, when they finally found her, she was in the company of a gaggle of costumed schoolchildren.

"Doodles," Drakken cursed.

"What's the big deal?" Shego asked. "Can't you just zap 'em all? Sure, Stoppable's kind of goofy, but why not get the twofer. And those kids are probably all going to grow up to be brats anyway."

"Shego, this is a highly sensitive piece of equipment. It can only be used under ideal circumstances," Drakken explained.

"Like what?" Shego asked.

"Like Kim Possible must be alone," he said.

"Why?" Shego wondered before her eyes flew wide open. "Doc, do not tell me you're going to do some dirty old man thing. Cause that's a line you do not want to cross!"

"Shego!" Drakken said, clearly wounded. "Do you really think that little of me? I may be a villain, but I'm not a congressman! Besides, she's just a teenager and I like my women to be more womanly."

"Uh, I see," she said shooting him a look that said, 'Don't even think about it.' "So, why does Princess have to be on her own?"

"It's just that, oh, you see, nnnnngggg, fine. If you must know, I only have one charge and I want to make sure we hit her and not one of the little thugs."

Shego decided to save a snarky remark about how Drakken was once again not properly prepared for another time. She really wanted to get back to the lair to watch _Evil Eye_.

"How about I draw her away?" she offered.

"Hmmm. That might just work. Good thinking, She—"

Shego didn't hear her boss complete his sentence since she'd already launched herself out of the hovercar.

VI.

The children began screaming the moment the woman with the freaky glowing hands landed in their path.

"Evening, Princess," Shego said as she assumed a combat pose. "Or should I say Catgirl?"

"This is low, even for you, Shego!" Kim snapped.

"Yeah, and she's not Catgirl, she's Sheela of the Leopard People," Ron added.

"Thanks, Ratboy!" Shego retorted.

"Hey, I'm the Fearl—"

"Not now, Ron," Kim said in a no-nonsense voice. "Get the kids to safety. I'll take care of Shego!"

"I'm on it, KP," Ron said, losing no time in leading the scared children away from the fight.

Once the sidewalk was clear, Shego attacked, throwing punches, kicks, and balls of green energy at Kim. Kim, as was her wont, was easily holding her own against her villainous foe – until she tripped on her tail and fell backwards.

Shego couldn't believe her good fortune when Kim banged her head on the sidewalk.

"KP!" Ron cried out before he began running to his fallen BFGF, his worry only mounting as he saw Drakken's hovercar come into view.

"Nuh uh, sidekick," the glamorous henchwoman said as she hurled an energy bolt in his direction. "Stay back or the kiddies will get some tricks from Auntie Shego."

Ron watched impotently as Drakken fired a gravometric beam from his flying car at Kim, who was dazed from her fall, and lifted her from the pavement and into the vehicle. Once she was safely aboard, Shego launched herself into the craft, then leaned over its edge and called out to Ron with gleeful malevolence, "Happy Halloween … Loser!"

_To Be Continued_


	2. or Treat

My thanks to campy, Ranchero D, Josh84, AtomicFire, PinkPurple, A Markov, Yuri Sisteble, Mkusenagi2, The Mad shoe 1, Joe Stoppinghem, qtpie235, SassMasterGeneral, Louis Mielke, Dr. J0nes, JeanieBeanie33, Jerridian, Molloy, buenonacho, surforst, conan98002, Aero Tendo, Uru Baen, Bubbahotek, Ace Ian Combat, and mattb3671 for reviewing.

Special thanks to campy and Molloy for beta reading this chapter and to campy for proofreading.

Write a review, get a response – sooner or later. With the recent arrival of BabyDrP, my schedule is a bit full these days.

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I.

"Oh, this is just too good," Shego said as she looked at an unconscious and sedated Kim Possible.

"And you doubted me," Drakken noted. "Who's da man, Shego?"

The glamorous henchwoman rolled her eyes and replied with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. "You're da man."

"That's right," Drakken crowed. "I'm da man! I – AM –DA –"

Drakken's rant was cut off when Shego clamped her clawed glove over his mouth. "Doc, don't push it, okay?"

The blue-skinned scientist, seeing the look in his colleague's eyes, nodded meekly.

II.

"C'mon, c'mon," Ron said to the phone as he waited for Wade to pick up.

"Ron?" the familiar voice finally inquired.

"Wade!" he replied with relief. "Kim's been …"

Ron's phone suddenly died.

"Great googly moogly!" he wailed. "Oh, what are the odds? This cannot be happening!"

"Mister, you can use my phone, if you'd like," a calm, cool, collected five-year-old sprite said as she offered him her sleek new model.

"Thanks," Ron said as he accepted the phone. He wasn't surprised that a first grader had a better one than he did; Mr. Stoppable still thought cell phones were a passing fad.

Ron, equipped with more current and reliable technology, once again called Wade.

"Ron, are you okay?" the young tech guru asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Kim's not," he answered before explaining the situation.

"Okay, I'll start tracking Drakken now," Wade promised. "I'll let you know as soon as I learn anything."

"Thanks, Wade. Talk to you soon." Ron ended the call, then looked at the kids, who were staring at him expectantly.

"Can we help you save the cat lady?" asked a little girl dressed as a bearded lady (and, no, Duff Killigan had not infiltrated the group of candy beggars).

"Uh, thanks, but I don't think you guys are big enough."

"But you said we were Junior Ferrets!"

"Yeah, and we want to fight evil!"

"We wanna come! We wanna come!" they began chanting.

Ron rubbed his neck. He found himself surrounded by scowling, insistent schoolchildren who wanted to forget about candy and go fight bad guys. It was actually heartwarming. But there was simply no way that he was going to take a gaggle of kids on a mission.

Then he had an idea.

III.

Kim's eyes fluttered open. "This is so not good," she groaned, as she realized she'd been shackled to an inclined table. She strained for her pocket before remembering she was wearing a form-fitting leopard suit.

"Princess, if you're going to wear a get-up like that you need two things," Shego said as she approached Kim. "One, much less padding around your butt …"

Kim's eyes narrowed.

"… And two, a pocket where you can keep things. See?" Shego said as she reached down to her calf and opened the flap on her leg-pouch. "Let's see what I've got in here: Kim Possible's Kissy Girl smoke screen bomb, Kim Possible's laser lipstick …"

"I get the idea, Shego," Kim snarled.

"That must have been the best bag of Halloween loot I've ever stolen. Googly Clusters, Saturn Bars, and all of your gear."

"Mmmm. And the Peanut Butter Crunchy Bars are dee-lish!" a blue-skinned supervillain with still-unfulfilled ambitions of taking over the world observed as he entered the room, snacking on a piece of purloined candy.

"Drakken …" Kim hissed.

"Kim Possible," he replied. "Or should I say, Sheela of the Leopard People?"

"That's pretty good, Doc," Shego said in surprised admiration. "I didn't know you were that imaginative."

"He's not …" Kim said evenly.

"Figures," Shego said.

"… Sheela's a character from the Villains' League of Evil Villains."

"Of which you are about to become the newest member!"

"What are you talking about?" Kim asked, suddenly apprehensive as Drakken aimed a ray gun at her.

"With my new psyonic wave manipulator I can completely suppress your identity and make you who I want you to be!"

"Spankin'," Kim said as she struggled against her restraints.

"Goodbye, Kim Possible!" Drakken crowed as he fired the device.

The look of surprise on Kim's face was instantly replaced by a blank, vacant stare.

"Okay, Doc, what's going on?"

"At this moment, Kim Possible's mind is mine to shape and control!"

"So, what are you going to have her do, cluck like a chicken?" Shego still wouldn't let Drakken forget about what he'd done to Lutz during the shampoo fiasco.

"Very funny, Shego," Drakken snapped back. "I'm going to turn her into our ally. Say farewell to Kim Possible, teen-aged foe, and hello to Sheela of the Leopard People, our partner in crime, who will soon be stealing anything and everything I want! Muwhahahahahahahahhahahahha!"

IV.

"What were you thinking!" the aged actor exclaimed. "You've divulged the secret location of the Ferret Hole!"

"Uh, Mr. N," Ron said, "Remember, none of this is real. It's really badical, but not real."

"I know," Timothy North sighed.

"Look, I had no choice," Ron wheedled as he put an arm around Timothy North's shoulder. "KP was kidnapped and these proud members of Ferret Nation wanted to help. I couldn't actually bring a bunch of kids on a mission."

North knew Ron was right. "Okay, FF2, what do you want me to do?"

"Give 'em some autographs and tell 'em some stories," Ron suggested. "They're a whole new generation of fans!"

"What about you?" North asked.

"It's Hero Time," Ron said seriously.

V.

The red-haired teen's eyes fluttered open.

"This is so not good," she groaned. As she looked up, she saw two familiar faces.

"Drakken and Shego," she said flatly. "Let me go."

"Not yet," the blue-skinned scientist said with a wave of his index finger. "Tell us who you are."

"You are going to be so busted if you don't untie me now," she growled.

"Nuh uh huh. Name, please," Drakken insisted.

The young woman looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"You know my name!" she said, unable to hide her exasperation.

"Say it," Drakken replied.

"Fine," she said with a roll of her emerald green eyes. "I'm Sheela of the Leopard People. Satisfied?"

Drakken and Shego exchanged pleased grins. "Just making sure," the super-villain said. "Shego, you can let Sheela go."

"My pleasure," the beautiful sidekick said as she used her glow power to undo the teen's bonds.

Freed, Sheela hopped off the table. "So what's the sitch?" she asked.

"The sitch?" Drakken asked, suddenly confused; he didn't expect traces of Kim's personality to remain.

"I think," Shego said, "Sheela wants us to tell her why she was tied up."

"Please and thank you," she said. Growing impatient, she began to twirl her tail.

"Oh, yes, the sitch," Drakken said, trying to figure out what was going on. He'd expected Sheela to be zombie-like. "The sitch is … that …"

"You were kidnapped by our enemies," Shego interjected, realizing that once again she was going to have to think fast on her feet. "They were messing with your head, trying to convince you that you were someone you weren't."

"Wow," Sheela said. "That's so the drama. Maybe that explains why I can't remember a lot of things."

"That's it, Prin—uh, Sheela," Shego said, correcting herself. "Those dorks at Global Justice wanted you to think you were some do-gooder patsy named Kim Possible."

"Kim Possible?" Sheela asked.

"Yeah, they wanted you to be – get this!" Shego said with a chuckle, "a teen hero who did all of their work for free! They even wanted you to think that you were dating this loser."

Sheela looked with interest at the picture of the blond-haired, freckle-faced teen. He was funny looking, but she liked his eyes – and his large ears. She wondered why Shego thought he was a loser. She was about to ask when Drakken spoke up.

"Imagine." he said with a nervous laugh, hoping that Shego hadn't prompted Kim's memories to return. "You. A teen hero."

"Well, I do have this spankin' costume and I do know sixteen kinds of kung fu," Sheela retorted, "I could use those in the fight against evil."

"Yeah, you could," Shego said. "Except that you like being evil."

"That's right," Drakken chimed in. "That's why you're one of us. One of the … Villains' League of Evil Villains. Though I just like to think of us as being an evil family," he said as he wrapped his arms around Shego and Sheela.

"So, we're a team?" Sheela asked.

"That's right. An evil team," Drakken said.

"So what do we do?" Sheela asked. "Are we trying to take over the world?"

"Funny you should ask," Drakken replied.

VI.

"Ron, we just got a hit on the site," Wade announced.

"Oh great," he groaned. "We don't have time for this! We have to find Kim!"

"Actually, Ron," Wade replied before taking a deep breath. "It's about Kim. Or rather Sheela …"

"What are you talking about?" he exclaimed.

"… She's robbing the Middleton Diamond Exchange."

_To Be Continued …_


	3. Evil Family

Thanks to campy, JeanieBeanie33, Louis Mielke, CajunBear73, Blackbird, Josh84, spectre666, Bubbahotek, Joe Stoppinghem, Uru Baen, mkusenagi2, surforst, johnrie18, Matri, daywalkr82, Zaratan, Molloy, Desslock3, Aero Tendo, conan98002, Lonestarr, Akinyi, and Ace Ian Combat for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Leave a review, get a response.

Thanks, as always, to campy for beta and proofreading.

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I. 

Sheela was tweaked.

Actually, she was _ferociously_ tweaked.

On her way to the Middleton Diamond Exchange, she had asked Shego why she thought Ron was a loser; though he looked goofy, the leopard-suited teen thought he was cute.

"You don't remember what he did to you?" a seemingly incredulous Shego asked.

Sheela shook her head.

"He dumped you. Like a hot potato."

"We were dating?"

"Yep … until he met some cheerleader. I think her name was Rockwaller. Yeah, that's it: Bonnie Rockwaller." Shego would never admit this to Drakken, but she had found one benefit to his fortunately now dormant mania for cloning: she'd learned about Bonnie Rockwaller, who as far as Shego could tell had earned a place in Kim Possible's pantheon of villainy. "Let's just say you were not happy when you found the two of them playing tonsil hockey."

"Whoa. Wait a minute. He cheated on me?" Sheela, who sounded both hurt and furious, asked.

"Sorry to open an old wound," Shego lied as she strove mightily not to break into a huge grin. Messing with Princess's mind was more fun than she'd ever imagined it could be.

Sheela, perched on the ledge of a building, looked into the night sky. She not only felt angry, but incredibly sad, too. Some part of her subconscious told her she was supposed to be very close to Ron. But Shego was telling her otherwise and she had no reason not to trust her – they were part of an evil family, after all. "Why would he cheat on me?" the teen asked softly.

Shego laid a comforting hand on the leopard woman's shoulder. "Maybe he was playing you the whole time. He is one of them after all."

"Them?"

"Yeah, them. He works with those dorks at Global Justice."

Sheela grew silent and looked out over the night-shrouded rooftops.

"You okay?" Shego asked. "I know this is big news."

Sheela turned and looked at Shego with cold resolve. "Don't worry. It's so not the drama."

"You sure?" Shego asked.

"So sure," Sheela had said evenly. "Let's go get those diamonds."

Now inside the Diamond Exchange, Sheela was demonstrating that what Shego had told her about Ron's betrayal was indeed so the drama as she violently kicked and smashed every display case in sight.

II.

Ron had hurried home to change into his mission clothes. As much as he enjoyed playing the Fearless Ferret, he knew the difference between a game and a serious situation. And no situation was more serious to Ron than one in which Kim was in danger.

Now standing at the entrance to the Diamond Exchange, he checked his gear. "Grappler gun, check. Smoke screen, check. Kimmunicator, check. Suspenders, check." Ron wasn't taking any chances this day and was determined not to be pole-axed by his perennial plummeting pants problem. Satisfied that his trousers were indeed secure, he spoke to his little pink friend. "You ready, Rufus?"

"Yuh huh," the naked mole rat said as he gave Ron a paw's up.

Ron took out his Kimmunicator; he had been impressed and relieved to find one waiting for him when he got home. He activated the device and Wade appeared on screen.

"We're here, Wade," Ron said. "You got anything for us?"

"Using the security cameras, I've located Kim and Shego," he answered. "They're on the fourth floor."

"Got it," Ron said. "We're going in."

Ron opened the door and quietly made his way up the fire stairs. As he emerged on the landing for the fourth floor, he heard the sound of glass breaking. Ron gulped.

"You can do this, Rondo," he told himself as he took deep breaths. "KP needs you."

Summoning his courage, Ron carefully opened the door to the hallway and stepped into the corridor. His back against the wall, he slowly made his way towards the jeweler's shop that Kim, as mind-boggling as the notion was, was burgling. When he reached his destination, he quietly eased the door open and peeked in.

He was surprised when Shego grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him inside.

III.

"Hey, Sheela, look who came to play!" Shego said gleefully.

Sheela turned from the safe she was looting and saw Ron.

"You!" she hissed. "Ron Heartbreaker!"

"KP?" he asked nervously as he saw the enraged look in her eyes. He found himself having a most unpleasant flashback of his close encounter with a hotdog cart.

"KP?" she echoed, suddenly confused and thrown off her stride, not recognizing Ron's nickname for her.

"Uh, yeah. KP," Ron explained. "Kim Possible. It's your name, remember?"

Sheela sprung forward, landing cat-like on a case next to Ron.

"My name's Sheela of the Leopard People," she snarled. "And you are so busted, Ron Heartbreaker."

Ron gulped, not liking that she'd called him that a second time, while Sheela swiftly and gracefully jumped off her perch. Before she landed, she swiped her clawed gloves across Ron's suspenders, slicing through the straps. His pants, obeying the law of gravity, dutifully fell down to his ankles.

"Aww, man," Ron whined as he looked down at his feet. Unfortunately, as he was looking downwards, he didn't see Sheela's rapidly approaching uppercut.

"That's for cheating on me with Bonnie, Ron," she spat as his head snapped back.

"Wha –" he stammered, wondering what she was talking about. He didn't have too much time to do that however, as he needed to focus on breathing after she followed up her blow to his jaw by driving her fist into his stomach.

"And that's for being part of GJ's plot to mess with my head," she said coldly. "I so can't believe I trusted you."

"Kim …" he groaned.

"What part of 'My name is Sheela' can't you remember, _Ronald_?" she growled as she slapped him across the face. "I bet a villain like me was never good enough for you, was I, Hero? Well, it's no big," she snarled as she slapped him again, "Go lip-smack Rockwaller. I so don't care."

Shego, who had been holding Ron the whole time, released his arms. He dropped to his knees. "Kim …" he said plaintively.

Sheela responded by kicking him in the gut.

Ron crumpled to the floor. He lay on the ground, confused and clutching his now very crummy tummy, unable to do anything as Sheela relieved him of his mission gear. He watched helplessly as his GF, carrying a sack full of stolen jewels, sauntered out of the store, her tail swishing, with her most dangerous foe by her side.

IV.

Ann and James Possible had changed out of their Scare-to-Care costumes and seated themselves in front of the wide-screen TV in the family room to watch the _Middleton Evening News_.

James wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulder and lowered the volume when Tricia Labowski, with her booming voice, came on screen.

"Our top story tonight concerns the emergence of a new super-villain in Middleton …"

Ann and James sat bolt upright as a picture of Kim wearing her leopard suit appeared on screen.

"… Who is in league with master criminal Shego …"

A picture of Shego appeared on screen, followed by security footage of the two women at the scene of their heist.

"… For more on this startling development, we turn it over to Summer Gale."

"I'm standing in front of the Middleton Diamond Exchange," Summer said animatedly, "where earlier this evening Sheela of the Leopard People and Shego brazenly stole millions of dollars worth of precious gemstones and beat the stuffing out of Kim Possible's sidekick and alleged boyfriend, Don Toppable, who had inexplicably confused the new villain with the famous teen hero."

"Do the police have any leads?" Tricia inquired.

"I spoke with Officer Hobble earlier this evening. He said the police will check out every lair in the Tri-City area."

"Any word on why Dan Flappable was there by himself? I would have thought Kim Possible would have been on the scene."

"Well, Tricia, my sources tell me that Kim is now dating Dexter from the Oh Boyz and that she was with him at a party in LA, leaving Tom Slappable to handle things on his own. I'll keep you posted as we learn more. Reporting live from the Middleton Diamond Exchange, this is Summer Gale and this is Sheela of the Leopard People Watch!"

V.

As Ron trudged up the walk to the Possibles' front door, he found himself wondering just how much the villains were paying their henchmen. He assumed it was a lot, given the repeated beatings they received from his BFGF. He knew that somebody would have to pay him a naco-royalty sized fortune for him to agree to be on the receiving end of a Kim Possible hurt.

Sore and battered, he gingerly reached for the doorbell. He pressed the button and heard the familiar chimes ring. Moments later the door opened to reveal Mrs. Possible. She drew a deep breath when she saw her daughter's boyfriend.

"Mrs. P," Ron said, "I've got some bad news about Kim …"

"We know, Ron," she said as she took him by the elbow and guided him into the kitchen. Once she had seated him, she went to the freezer to get an ice pack. "It's been on TV."

"Ronald," a stern-faced James Possible said as he entered the room. "When did you and my daughter break up?"

"What?" a stunned Ron asked.

"That Summer Gale woman said my Kimmie-cub was dating somebody named Hector …"

"It's Dexter, honey," Mrs. Possible said.

"… I don't care what his name is. He's show folk!"

"Dr. P – Ooo! Owww! Owww!" Ron cried, wincing as Mrs. Possible applied salve to his bruised cheek, "I may have done some dumb things back in the day but I'm not that stupid. I'd never break up with Kim …"

"That's good," James said.

"… However, she's amped up," Ron explained, "because she thinks I dumped her for Bonnie Rockwaller …"

"Oh dear," Mrs. Dr. P said.

"… And to make things really weird," Ron concluded, "she really does think she's Sheela of the Leopard People."

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," James said. Moments later he returned with a package that he handed to Ron. "It's for you."

Ron opened the box and discovered a new Kimmunicator. The screen came to life.

"Hi Ron," Wade said.

"Let me guess," Ron sighed. "You saw Kim go GWA on me, too?"

"Sorry about the Diamond Exchange," Wade said, having indeed seen the footage of Ron being smacked down. "Are you okay?"

"Other than the fact that my GF thinks she's a villainous cat lady, believes I'm dating her biggest rival, and is convinced I'm her two-timing enemy, everything's just a-okay," Ron said, unable to hide his sarcasm. "This Halloween can't get any worse!"

"Actually, it can," Wade explained. "I was able to do a passive scan of Kim's brain …"

"Wade, I don't know what you're talking about but something tells me this is not going to be good."

"Drakken used some kind of brainwave manipulator to suppress her memories and give her new ones."

"So what's the problem? We just have to find a way to get Kim back without her kicking my booty and we can get her back to normal, right?"

"Well, yes, but …" Wade said hesitantly.

"Why does there always have to be a but!" Ron wailed.

"Ron, for the time being, the effects of what Drakken did are reversible. But if we don't a find a way to undo what he did in the next six hours, they'll become permanent."

"You mean …"

"Kim will be gone and replaced by Sheela forever."

_TBC …_


	4. A Bonnie Fine Evening

Thanks to whitem, Josh84, CajunBear73, JeanieBeanie33, neithan, mkusenagi2, captainkodak1, campy, Atomic Fire, Molloy, Surforst, Dr. J0nes, Jasminevr, Akinyi, Joe Stoppinghem, qtpie235, johnrie18, Quathis, Matri, conan98002, Desslock3, TexasDad, Mrs. Dom Masbolle, Ace Ian Combat, moirariordan, and Beasty bex for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Thanks, as always, to campy for beta and proofreading.

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I. 

The leopard-suited teen turned off the computer and rose from the chair.

"Excellent work, Sheela," Drakken said as he entered the lair's office carrying an extraordinarily large gemstone.

"It was so not the drama," Sheela replied breezily.

"With this diamond," he said as he raised the rock heavenward as if offering a sacrifice, "I will be able to focus the beam of my new laser, thereby creating the world's most powerful ray of doom! Muwahahahahahahahaha!"

It was then Drakken noticed that he was alone. He turned and hurried after Sheela, who had left the office and was in the mud room.

"Where are you going?" Drakken said, sounding deflated. Shego had already shown a distinct lack of interest in his project; he had hoped that the Sheelafied Kim Possible would prove to be a more attentive audience. Gloating to one's self just wasn't satisfying.

"Out," she said cheerily.

"Out?" Drakken said as he looked at his watch. "Do you know what hour it is? I will not have you gallivanting around town in the middle of the night, young lady," he declared in his most serious tone.

"You are so not going to tell me what to do," Sheela said dangerously as she languidly twirled her tail.

"I am too," Drakken countered, trying to sound authoritative. "I'm the head of this evil household, and you'll do as you're told."

"I so think not," Sheela snorted as she turned to leave.

"Shego!" Drakken called out.

"Yeah?" she said as she wandered into the anteroom.

"Tell Sheela she can't go out," he pouted.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so!"

Shego looked at Sheela, who returned her gaze.

"You mind picking me up some emery boards while you're out?" Shego asked as she handed a twenty to Sheela. "My gloves are a mess."

"Sure," Sheela said as she took the money and headed to the door. "It's no big. Do you need anything while I'm out?" she asked as she turned to Drakken.

"Nnnnnnnggggg. Well, as long as you insist on defying me, yes," he said sulkily. "Please get me some mini-marshmallows." Drakken decided he'd make the best of the situation and make some hot cocoa moo. And everyone knew proper moo required mini-marshmallows.

Sheela's face lit up. "Oooo! Are you going to put them on hot dogs?"

"You can't be serious," the blue-skinned villain said. "That's a crime that even I couldn't commit …"

"What do you mean? Marshmallows are spankin' on hot dogs!" Sheela shot back, fire in her eyes, her fists balled by her side.

"Shego …" Drakken, seeking protection, whimpered nervously.

"Don't look at me, Doc," the glamorous henchwoman said with malicious glee. "You're the one who's always telling me not to hurt with my words …"

II.

Bonnie Rockwaller had definitely scored a treat this Halloween.

The moment Tara told her that she and Jason Morgan decided to call things off, the sharp-tongued brunette focused like a laser on snagging Middleton High's most desirable athlete, now that Brick Flagg had managed to graduate after only seven years. Bonnie had been successful in wooing her quarry, which is why she and the hoops star, having attended a rockin' costume party that night, were presently locking lips in young Morgan's late-model SUV, which was parked in front of Casa Rockwaller.

The two teens were going at it with what the 35th president of the United States might have called "vigah" when they heard a jarring thud. Their surprise was compounded when the unexpected noise was quickly followed by the sound of the driver's side door flying open.

"Aaaiiiiieee!" Bonnie cried out at as she eyed the leopard-suited apparition with strangely familiar green eyes.

"Whoa!" Jason said as he got a good look at their visitor. "Talk about hot! Ouch –"

Bonnie had recovered quickly enough from her fright to slap Jason upside the head.

"Geez," he protested. "That hurt like –"

Jason's observation was cut off when the mystery woman grabbed him, pulled him from the vehicle, flipped him to the pavement, and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Hey," Jason cried out as he realized what was happening. "You're stealing my truck!"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure someone once told me it's called 'secret borrowing'," Sheela said sweetly before adding, "Gotta jet!"

Jason watched in dumb amazement as his vehicle and his date roared off down the street.

III.

Timothy North was ready to concede defeat. White Stripe, The Quizzler, even The Walrus – that wily wielder of wicked woe – were rank amateurs compared to the gaggle of kids that FF2 had left behind. None of the Fearless Ferret's evil enemies could have wreaked such havoc in so short a period of time, even if they had been real.

The B-List actor surveyed the Ferret Hole, which was now a cauldron of calamitous cacophony of kid-caused catastrophe. (For those with an aversion to alliteration, the place had been trashed.)

"What's this do, Mr. North?" one boy asked as he waved a rare prop from Episode 17, "The Coo Coo Ci Choo Caper," while a little girl was dressing her dolly in Wonder Weasel's costume and another boy was busy leaving his chocolaty fingerprints on every available surface he could reach, particularly the Ferret Monitors.

"Where are you, punk?" North wondered.

IV.

"What's going on?" Bonnie demanded, her fear outweighed by the umbrage she took at being abducted by a leopard-suit-wearing Kim Possible.

"You and Ron are so perfect for each other," Sheela snapped, ignoring her captive's question. "He cheated on me, you cheat on him."

"Me, cheat on Stoppable? What are you talking about?"

"I know all about you and Ron," Sheela said. "You are so going to regret stealing him away from me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bonnie snarked. "In case you didn't notice, I was kissing Total Hotness a few minutes ago. Why would I want that loser boyfriend of yours?"

"He's not a loser," Sheela growled. "Though he is a two-timing, double-crossing cheat with no taste."

"Look, Possible –"

"That's not my name …"

Bonnie looked at Kim with genuine confusion.

"… Don't play dumb, cheerleader, though I suspect that shouldn't be too hard for you. I know all about Global Justice's plot to convince me I'm some do-gooder who will do their work for them."

"I don't know what you're talking about, K," Bonnie snapped.

"My name is Sheela," the torqued teen growled. "Sheela of the Leopard People."

"You are so weird," Bonnie said. "I mean, that cat suit is so tacky."

Sheela snorted. "And the girl wearing a French Maid's outfit is calling me tacky why?"

"At least I have the figure to wear an outfit like this," Bonnie jibed. "Unlike you," she added with a smile of satisfaction as she saw Sheela scowl.

The leopard-suited teen realized she really didn't like engaging in verbal jousts with her captive. Her sour look, however, soon turned into a feral grin, which made Bonnie uncomfortable.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"To the zoo," Sheela said.

"The zoo?"

"Yes, Bon-Bon," Sheela replied. "The zoo. You know, big place filled with animals?"

"I know what a zoo is," Bonnie grumped. "Why are you taking me there?"

"I have some friends I'd like you to meet," Sheela said.

"You know you don't scare me, K," Bonnie said defiantly.

"Maybe I don't, B," Sheela riposted. "But I bet my friends will. Have you ever been in a leopard cage?" she asked as she pressed her foot down on the SUV's accelerator.

V.

"What do you mean I can't use the Battle Suit?" Ron asked Wade.

"Sorry, but it took a beating during Kim's fight with that alien and I thought I should perform a diagnostic."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I've deactivated and dismantled all of its systems," Wade said apologetically.

Ron slapped his forehead. "What are the odds!" he exclaimed. "KP is going to kick my can again when she sees me. She knows sixteen kinds of kung fu and she's willing to use all of them on the Ronster."

"We've got an idea," Tim said as he walked into the room, accompanied by his brother.

"Yeah, why send in one Ron, when we can send in two?" Jim asked.

"Hola, Clan Possible," a Ron Stoppable doppelganger said in greeting.

"Hey, that's me!" Ron exclaimed. "Gee, I really am good looking."

"Now, boys, you know what we told you about cloning," Mrs. Dr. P said.

"Don't worry, Mom," Jim said. "We've decided to stick with what we know best."

"Mom, Dad, Ron," Tim said, "meet … RoboRon."

"RoboRon?" Ron asked. "You made a robot me? Badical!"

"Well, not exactly," Jim said. "More like an android."

"We used Dad's cybertronic research …"

"Boys, that's highly classified information," James Possible said, disapproval evident in his voice.

"… That we picked up off the web," Tim noted in their defense.

"And we enhanced it, adding a multiparameter positronic net," Jim added.

"Outstanding!" James said, his displeasure easily overcome by his pride in his sons' handiwork.

"Okay, I'm not even going to try to lay the cluelessness on someone else," Ron said. "What are you talking about?"

"RoboRon's smart." Jim said.

"Really smart." Tim said.

"Oooo," Ron said. "So, he could, like, oh, take my trig exam next week?"

"Ronald," James warned, expecting his daughter's boyfriend to play by the rules in school.

"Hee hee," Ron laughed nervously. "Just asking. Hypothetically. I'm all about the mathage, Dr. P."

"Good … Ronald," James said firmly.

"So, why did you make him look like me?" Ron asked.

"We were hoping to fake out Kim," Jim admitted.

"Oh, great, like I don't have enough problems as it is!" Ron complained. "She's beating me down, she still won't let me forget the coupon book, and you're going to use Phony Me to play her?"

"Boys, there will be no using a cybertronic version of Ronald to mess with your sister's mind," James said. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Dad," they said in unison, not trying to hide their disappointment.

"Wait a minute," Ron said as the proverbial light bulb went on over his head. "They may be onto something …"

"Uh oh," Rufus said.

VI.

"Okay, so maybe I was a little harsh on you dating Stoppable," Bonnie said nervously as she looked at the leopards. "He's actually kind of cute."

"I knew it!" Sheela exploded. "I knew you thought Ron was a hottie! That's why you stole him from me!"

"No! No! I didn't!" Bonnie protested as the restraints dug into her wrists. "He's still a froob!"

"You are such the liar," Sheela said. "You'd be a cat toy already if I didn't need you."

VII.

"Ohmigosh!" Wade said as he watched the video. He immediately contacted Ron, who was driving the Sloth.

"What up, Wade?" he asked.

"This was on the Middleton Zoo's security camera!"

The video began with a close-up shot of a terrified yet irate Bonnie Rockwaller, then pulled back to reveal she was suspended over the leopard pen at the zoo. The camera then turned to Sheela. "It's time to take out the trash, Ron," the auburn-haired teen said. "You want your GF, you come get her …"

"I'm not his GF!" Bonnie yelled in the background. "Now get me out of here, Stoppable, or I'll kick your biscuit from here to Lowerton!"

"… But you'd better be quick, Heartbreaker. Otherwise, Fatwaller here …"

"You take that back, K!" Bonnie screamed in fury.

"… May start chilling with my spotted sidekicks."

The camera then panned to the leopards, and the video ended.

"This is so not good," Ron said as he engaged the purple coupe's afterburners.

_TBC …_


	5. Leopards and Ferrets and Bonnie, Oh My!

Hey Ferret Fans! Thanks to Spectre666, campy, Beasty bex, MacaKP, Molloy, Mrs. Dom Masbolle, Josh84, surforst, Matri, yvj, whitem, Joe Stoppinghem, CajunBear73, JeanieBeanie33, Ultimate Naco Topping, Pharoah Rutin Tutin, Gray Cardinal, Quathis, conan98002, mkusenagi2, TexasDad, Ace Ian Combat, Jasminevr, Lonestarr, and Desslock3 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Leave a review, get a response. Seriously!

Thanks to campy for beta and proofreading.

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I. 

"Make it stop!" the beefy henchman cried out plaintively.

"Oh, the horror, the horror," his colleague in goonery observed, averting his eyes as Commodore Puddles clamped down on the first hired muscle's leg.

"Oh, this is too rich," Shego said as she walked in and watched the rampaging poodle confirm for the umpteenth time that it did indeed have serious anger management issues. "Yo, Doc," she called back over her shoulder, "You better get in here. Lassie's losing it again."

A few moments later, Drakken wandered into the bunkroom, scratching his head. "Shego, have you seen my Aggression Inhibitor Ray?"

"Your what?" she asked.

"Little shiny device, about this big," he said holding his hands just so. "It's what I use to calm Commodore Puddles when he's upset."

"You'd be better off using an elephant gun," she cracked.

"Shego!" he reproached his evil sidekick. "Commodore Puddles is a member of our evil family!"

"Whatever," she said with a roll of the eyes. "Any chance your gizmo looks like my mePod?"

"Yes. Have you seen it, by any chance?" he asked hopefully as the pugnacious poodle continued to shred the quivering henchman's jumpsuit.

"Yeah," Shego replied. "I think Poss—I mean Sheela had it when she left."

"Disrespectful, sass-spouting teenagers," Drakken groused. "Talking on the phone all night, playing their music too loud, not doing their chores …"

"Doctor D, you're rambling," Shego noted.

"… Taking what's not theirs," he grumbled. "And not bringing home the marshmallows. Now my cocoa moo is ruined," he sulked.

"Uh, Doctor D, you convinced her she was evil," Shego pointed out. "You can't be ripped if she starts stealing your stuff."

"Yes I can," the mad scientist huffed.

"Well that's hypocritical," Shego replied as she looked down at her clawed gloves.

"It is not. It's situational ethics," he said sanctimoniously.

Shego cocked a mocking eyebrow and was about to say something when the hapless henchman cried out, interrupting her conversation with Drakken.

Commodore Puddles' merciless assault was getting awfully personal …

II.

Bonnie watched in terrified amazement as Sheela climbed into the leopard pen and casually approached one of the big cats; the brunette was convinced that her rival and fellow cheerleader had a death wish. Yet much to her surprise, the leopards calmly walked up to the cat-suited teen, lay down, and allowed themselves to be petted. They especially seemed to like being scratched behind the ears.

"H-how are you doing that?" an incredulous Bonnie asked.

"It's no big," Sheela said. "Just call me the Cat Whisperer."

Sheela saw no need to tell Bonnie about the Aggression Inhibitor Ray she'd boosted from Drakken's equipment locker after doing a quick on-line inventory of the mad scientist's stock of gadgets. The leopard-suited teen suspected she could use the device on Bonnie if she got out of hand but decided she preferred seeing the cheerleader agitated, feisty – and powerless.

III.

"You drove here? Please tell me nobody was following you," Timothy North said as Ron, RoboRon, Jim and Tim climbed out of the Sloth. "The Ferret Hole's location is supposed to be a closely guarded secret!"

"Not real, remember, Mr. N?" Ron said.

"I know that, Punk," the old actor said sharply. "I just don't want any of those fanboys slipping in," he groused. "The fanfic writers are the worst."

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with fan fiction. It's a legitimate creative outlet for people of all ages," Ron protested before adding, somewhat defensively, "Not that I'd know anything about it."

"Sure," Jim said. "Says the author of_ The Ferret and the Cheerleader_ …"

"… In which the Fearless Ferret, version 2.0, saves a red-headed, green-eyed cheer squad captain who falls for him and becomes his trusty sidekick and adoring girlfriend," Tim explained to a curious Mr. North.

Ron's eyes opened wide. "H-how …"

"Your penname is Bon-diggity Hero," Jim said with a smirk.

"Kind of a giveaway, duh!" Tim added.

"Oh, man, Kim's gonna kill me if she finds out …" Ron moaned as he slapped his forehead.

"Actually, she already knows," Jim said.

"What!" Ron said as he began to frantically pull at his hair.

"She was tweaked at first – Kim's too bossy to be a sidekick – but she decided it was kind of cute when she realized you wrote it when she was with Eric and that you were jealous …"

"And how do you know this?" Ron asked, unable to believe Kim would share such information in her brothers.

"Kim's diary …" Jim explained.

"… It's still on-line!" Tim said gleefully.

"This is all fascinating, but what are you planning on doing now that Ferret Girl is Leopard Girl?" North asked.

"Uh, it's Sheela of the Leopard People," Ron corrected the actor. "And I'm going to save her," he announced, getting his head back into the game. "Now, here's how you can help …"

IV.

The Sloth pulled up outside of the zoo.

"Okay," Ron said, "you ready?"

"On to victory!" RoboRon, who was dressed in standard mission gear, declared.

"Uh, dude, you need to tap into your essential Ronness if you're going to pull this off."

"Whatever," the android said flatly.

"Noooo!" Ron said, appalled. "You're channeling Quinn!"

"Played ya," RoboRon said impishly. "I'm all about the Ronnitude!" he added smugly.

"Let's get one thing straight, Robodude," Ron said as he scowled at his doppelganger. "You may be incredibly good looking but I'm the sidekick here. Just leave the joking to me, 'kay? 'Kay."

"'Kay," RoboRon replied before offering a goofy grin to Ron.

As the duo entered the zoo, RoboRon turned to Ron and said, "By the way, did you know that I'm a bon-diggity dansuh?"

V.

Sheela perched on a branch, scanning the horizon. She knew Ron would come. She just knew it …

VI.

"Stoppable, you get me down!" Bonnie cried out as soon as she saw the familiar visage of Kim Possible's dopey boyfriend and sidekick in – air quotes, please – saving the world.

"Well, look who's here. Ron Heartbreaker," Sheela said icily as she emerged from the shadows. "I've been waiting for you."

"Look, Kim …" RoboRon said.

"It's Sheela," she snapped.

"Now, I know you're upset about the GJ thing," he continued. "And I should have come clean to you about me and Bonnie being an item sooner …"

"What!" Bonnie exploded. "What are you talking about, you loser?"

"I knew it!" Sheela exploded. "I just knew you two were up to something. Well guess what, Ron? You're not the only cheater here. Your precious Bon-Bon's been straying."

"What?" RoboRon asked. He hadn't been programmed for this eventuality and had to review his database to develop a response.

"She was swapping spit with some guy tonight. Looked like a real hottie, if you ask me. Maybe I'll do some lip smacking with him when I'm done with the two of you."

RoboRon began circling Sheela. "Aw, c'mon, KP …"

"I told you, it's Sheela," she snapped as she launched a spin-kick at the android, who deftly evaded her. Sheela landed, rolled, and came up on her feet. "Bring it," she ordered.

"I really don't want to hurt you, Kim," RoboRon said.

Sheela glared at the android, then charged him. RoboRon stepped aside just as Sheela was about to make contact, grabbed her arm, spun her and flipped her onto the pavement.

"You can't beat me, KP," RoboRon said. "I'm a better fighter than you."

"As if," she said as she kicked up with her feet and pushed the android off of her. RoboRon responded by doing a back flip and came to rest in a defensive position. Once again, the two circled one another. Then RoboRon lunged at Sheela with surprising speed. She saw him, however, and did a back flip of her own, landing in the pen with the leopards. Unfortunately, in the process of doing so, she lost the AIR.

"Oooo," RoboRon said, "a mePod! Shiny!"

The android, in an act of heedlessness that would have done his inspiration proud, pressed a button.

Much to Sheela's discomfort, the leopards, which were now eyeing her, started making very unfriendly noises.

"This is so not good," she said to herself as the big cats began advancing on her.

_TBC …_


	6. Ferrety Fur Flying Fun Filled Finale

Thanks to campy, CajunBear73, captainkodak1, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, AtomicFire, Ultimate Naco Topping, surforst, MaggieLimerick, Quathis, johnrie18, whitem, Matri, Joe Stopphinghem, conan98002, mkusenagi2, daywalkr82, Ace Ian Combat, Molloy, Josh84, and qtpie235 for reviewing and to everyone for reading!

Special thanks to campy for his beta and proof work.

Leave a review, get a response. Seriously!

If you saw it on _KP_, it belongs to Disney.

* * *

I.

Timothy North anxiously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of the Ferret Mobile while he waited for Jim and Tim to complete their mission. Twelve holy terrors were loose in North Manor with only Wonder Weasel to keep an eye on them. Of course, the old actor had to admit, the naked mole rat did seem to have things under control when they left on their mission.

"C'mon, punks" he was complaining when he saw the twins, big grins on their faces, come running towards the car.

"We got it!" Jim said.

"Let's jet!" Tim added.

II.

"I can't believe you thought they were clones!" Shego said. "How could you fall for that a second time?"

"I'd explain it, but it's a super genius thing," Drakken said huffily as he sulked at his desk. Kim Possible's little brothers had somehow infiltrated the lair, found the parts to create a functional miniaturization ray which they used to shrink the Psionic Wave Manipulator, and were only detected after Commodore Puddles had tired of harassing the henchmen and, having gone in search of new prey, stumbled on the tweebs. Drakken, hearing his dog's yapping, went to investigate, thus finding Jim and Tim, who claimed to be the vanguard of a huge army of Tweebclones®. As Drakken tried to puzzle out whether they were pulling his leg, they made their escape.

"More like a super dork thing," Shego said as she headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Drakken asked.

"Well, now that this plan's officially going south and Kimmie's probably not coming back, I'm going out to get some emery boards."

Drakken stared at his glamorous sidekick, debated trying to convince her to get Sheela back, and decided one lippy and dangerous woman in the lair was enough. "Fine," he growled. "While you're out, can you get me some marshmallows?"

"Sure. By the way, you owe me a twenty," she said as she extended an open palm.

"What?" an incredulous Drakken shot back.

"Princess bunked off with my Andy," Shego explained "And she wouldn't have done that if you hadn't turned her evil. Now hand over the dinero."

Grumbling, Drakken reached into the pocket of his lab coat and withdrew his wallet.

III.

Sheela was circling the pen, trying to maintain her distance from the leopards when Ron, dressed as the Fearless Ferret, came barging onto the scene.

"Where's K– uh, Sheela?" he demanded of RoboRon.

"Down there," the android said, pointing into the pen.

"What!" Ron exclaimed as he saw the feline predators cornering Sheela. Without thinking, he jumped into the pen, momentarily distracting the leopards.

"And you're supposed to be who?" Sheela asked.

"The Fearless Ferret. Otherwise known as your sidekick," he said as he looked back and forth between the two leopards, who were taking an unhealthy interest in him.

"I didn't know that I had a sidekick," she said.

"Oh yeah, a badically evil babe like you has to have a goofy _compadre_ by her side," Ron explained before he turned to the leopards and said, "Nice kitties."

One of the cats responded with a blood-curdling roar.

"Okay," Ron said as he cupped his hands by his mouth. "Arooaraoooaaooooaooo."

The leopards, now filled with curiosity, peered at him.

"You're doing that why?" Sheela asked.

"Being a distraction," he said as he waved his Ferret Grappler. "Now get over here."

"I am so not taking orders from you. How do I know I can trust you? Drakken and Shego never said anything about you being part of our evil family."

"Well, duh," Ron said, becoming increasingly nervous as one of the leopards hungrily licked its chops.

Ron gulped, then ran right at the big cats, screaming. The animals, caught by surprise, moved aside. He quickly wrapped his arm around Sheela's waist, fired the Ferret Claw at a girder, waited for the hook to wrap around the beam, and pressed the retract button, quickly pulling them up to safety.

Sheela and Ron, now safe, stood at the lip of the pen. Sheela smiled. "Nice work, Ferret," she said as she pulled Ron in for a kiss. Just before their lips met, she yanked up his cowl.

"Hey!" he protested. "Sidekick mystique!"

"You!" she growled. "Spill. Now!"

"Global Justice created Phony Me to play you," Ron said, hoping Sheela would buy his explanation.

"You want me to believe he's a clone?" Sheela replied skeptically.

"Android, actually," Ron said.

Kim looked at RoboRon.

"Looks like I'm busted," the android said with a laugh and a shrug of the shoulders.

"So it was you," she said pointing at RoboRon, "who cheated on me with her," she added, pointing at Bonnie.

"Yeah," the android said.

"No!" Bonnie cried out. "I did not, have not, will not kiss that froob!"

"C'mon, Bon-Bon!" RoboRon said. "You said you couldn't get enough of the Ronman."

Sheela, hands on hips, rolled her eyes. "And what about my evil family?"

"Hate to break the news, but you were played by Drakken and Shego, too," Ron said.

"And they'd do that why?" Sheela asked, not sounding convinced. "They seemed awfully nice."

"They're jealous of you," Ron explained.

"Jealous? Of me?" Sheela replied.

"They've been taken down so many times that the prison has reserved cells for 'em," Ron said as he put an arm around Sheela. "You, on the other hand, have never been caught."

"Really?" she asked, unable to hide a sudden surge of pride.

"Well, you are the most bon-diggity villain on the planet. Smart, pretty, athletic …"

Sheela began to blush under her mask.

"… With an amazingly good-looking sidekick, to boot," Ron said. "And, oh, oh! You have this really cool lair and your own car!"

"My own car? Spankin'!" Sheela said enthusiastically.

"Here, let me show you," Ron said, as he took Sheela's hand and quickly led her from the zoo and to the Leopardmobile (otherwise known as the newly painted Sloth).

IV.

"Get me down from here!" Bonnie yelled at the receding costumed figures before she looked at RoboRon. "Don't just stand there, you loser, do something!"

RoboRon looked at Bonnie, realized he didn't like being insulted, and turned to leave.

"Hey, you can't leave me here!" the brunette protested to the departing android. "If you do, you'll be in like so much trouble!"

"Whatever," RoboRon replied as he decided to channel his inner Quinn.

"Don't go! I-I'll go on a date with you! I'll kiss you!" she called out as the android turned a corner. "Come back!"

V.

"So tell me about my lair," Sheela said as they buckled their seat belts.

"It's pretty badical," Ron said. "It's got everything you need to take over the world."

"So why haven't I done that yet?" Sheela asked.

"Uh, well, it's got almost everything," Ron fudged. "You're still waiting for the spinning tops of doom to arrive. Can't take over the world unless your lair is truly impregnable and without those spinning tops of doom, it isn't, and …" he rambled.

"You're weird," Sheela said.

"Sheela!" Ron whined.

"Shh! I like weird," she said as she reached up and gently stroked one of his ears.

VI.

After they had come to a stop inside the Leopardlair (otherwise known as the Ferret Hole), Sheela pulled her ferrety sidekick out of the leopard-spotted Sloth. "Before I conquer the world," she said in a smoldering voice as she pushed him up against a console, "I think I'm going to conquer you."

Ron began to breathe heavily. _Keep your head in the game, keep your head in the game,_ he told himself. _Keep your head …_ His mantra was broken when Sheela brought her lips to his.

"Cootie alert!" Jim announced through a megaphone, killing the mood for the two costumed teens.

"And who are you?" she asked as Jim, followed by Tim, appeared.

"Uh, we're medical clones," Jim said, waving a syringe. "And time's running out."

"Running out for what?" Sheela asked.

"Your treatment," Tim said.

"Uh, yeah," Ron added, betraying his confusion. "Your treatment …"

"To restore the memories Drakken suppressed," Tim said, staring at Ron. "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Ron said. "That treatment."

"Okay, what needs to be done?" Sheela asked.

"We have to get you on this table …" Tim said.

Sheela climbed onto the gurney and lay back.

"This will take a few minutes," Jim said. "Why don't you relax?"

Sheela closed her eyes and folded her hands across her midriff.

"You ready for us to start?" Tim asked.

"Please and thank you," Sheela responded.

"Hey, it's the Cat Lady!" a little girl exclaimed as she slid down the pole into the Ferret Hole. "Why is she taking a nap?"

"Come back here, you ghastly girl!" Timothy North said in exasperation as he followed the rambunctious tyke.

Sheela's eyes flew open at the commotion. She sensed something was wrong here. "You've been playing me!" she hissed as she glared at Ron.

"No! No! I haven't," he protested. "There's an explanation! A good one," he added before mumbling, "I just don't know what it is."

"You are so busted," Sheela said as she gracefully jumped off the table, wheeled on her left foot and drove a boot into Ron's gut, knocking the wind out of him. She followed that up with a right hook. Then, for good measure, she dope-slapped him.

As Ron staggered, and then dropped to his knees, he was able to focus on the clock. Time had just about run out and he didn't know what to do. He watched as Sheela began chasing after the tweebs.

He cringed as Sheela grabbed Jim by the collar, not wanting to see his GF give her little brother a smackdown. Much to his surprise, instead of going all kung fu on Jim, Sheela's eyes opened wide and she crumpled to the floor. Ron crawled over to his fallen GF and noticed a syringe stuck in her calf – and a relieved Rufus behind her.

"I don't know how you got that, Little Buddy, but good job," Ron said before collapsing to the floor.

VII.

"Ron, what happened to you?" Kim asked, deep concern evident in her voice.

"KP!" he cried out as his GF woke up. "You're okay!"

"Other than this ferociously bad headache," she said as she rubbed her temples and sat up. "Now, are you going to tell me why you look like you've just gone ten rounds with Shego? And why are we at Mr. North's? And –"

"It's a long story," Ron said, cutting off his BFGF. He smiled, gingerly climbed onto the table, and put an arm around Kim. Then he began to tell her of the weirdest Halloween ever.

VIII.

Harvey Fenster arrived at work at 7:30 A.M. sharp as had been his wont every morning for the last fifteen years. He put on his coveralls, grabbed his utility bag, and left the maintenance building to do his rounds.

"Well, that's something you don't see every day," he said to himself as he approached the leopard pen. Suspended over the pit was a young woman dressed in a French maid's uniform. She didn't look happy, to say the least.

"You!" she screamed as she saw Harvey, rousing the sleeping leopards in the process. "Get me down from here!"

IX.

"I still can't believe I went evil," Kim, shaking her head, said to Monique, as the two young women folded the newly arrived guava berry colored capris.

"Believe it, girl. It was on the news. And you were styling something bad," Monique said approvingly. "So, you sure you're okay?"

"It's so not the drama," Kim said with a dismissive wave of the hand before she pursed her lips. "Well, maybe it was a bit the drama," she conceded. "If it weren't for Jim and Tim, and more importantly, Ron, I'd still be wearing that cat suit and thinking I was Sheela." Kim fell silent for a moment. "Mon, I'm so lucky Ron had my back."

"That boy really does care about you," Monique said. "Not many guys would let their GF's smack them around the way you did Ron. So, how's Ferret Boy going to be?"

"He'll be okay," Kim answered. "Fortunately none of the ribs were broken and the loose tooth was in the back of his mouth. To be honest, If Mr. Barkin had his way, Ron would be suiting up for the game this weekend. That's so not happening."

"So, how'd you convince Ron not to play?" Monique asked, knowing how much fun he was having being "Unstoppable Stoppable," Middleton's surprise star running back.

"It was no big, really," Kim said with a sly grin. "I told him I had some special new cheer moves I wanted him to see – but that they were for his eyes only, and the only way he'd see him was if he stayed at home and rested."

"Girlfriend, you don't play fair," Monique said with an admiring smile. "And here I thought you were done being a villain!" she added with a chuckle.

"Well, maybe there's still a little bit of Sheela left in me …" Kim said with a catlike grin. "And you know what they say about a leopard changing her spots …"

_The End_


End file.
